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Ciel/OOC - Question Meme!/c000118

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Ciel is Judgy McJudgerson Judgeypants (you know she is). When it comes to some people, she seems to have a habit of fitting them into a certain definition, and dealing with them accordingly. Which people most surprise her by trying to wiggle out of her definition of what they are?

She is. She comes by it very honestly! Both her mom and her uncle were this way. Some of it's a Catholic thing, but a lot of it is just-- that's how they do the world. Boxes, superiority, labeling. Etc.

She's not completely inflexible, but it can be difficult to move out of the box she's assigned you. Sometimes this is good as well as bad - Kade, for example, benefits from the box she put him in very early on. And despite what he may think, so does Rohan, who was labeled 'a merc but not like all those other mercs'.

Rich is the obvious surprise - and of course he's a surprise because she knew him not one single iota before putting him in a box. Beyond that-- um. Honestly, Rohan has been a surprise, but in the unpleasant way. He was in a pretty positive box that turned extremely negative. He wiggled into 'I guess he really was like all those other mercs'. The fact that he started somewhere else is probably the reason that she cannot bring herself to cut him out of her life - or even want to - despite the fact that he legit freaked her out for a while with his intensity early on in his return.

I don't know that anyone else has wiggled out of a box. Sometimes her boxes shift shape a little, but that's not quite the same thing. A Beaubier's judgement is in fact sometimes very flexible in order to avoid ever admitting that it was wrong.

Do you think she might relax in the future, or is she always going to be judgey?

I will keel over in shock if she ever stops being judgemental. It is a fundamental character trait, and the one that is so deeply ingrained that it sort of overwrote some of the other ones I intended her to have (like 'outgoing' and 'friendly'. I know. But at least she's more viable than Via was!). It is basically the core of who she is, because of where she comes from, and who she comes from.

How does she judge herself or what box does she put herself into? She judges herself a LOT. I think her judgement of herself is more complicated than a box, because she judges her motivations as well as her actions, and she knows what she wants to be but not always what she is.

The box she wants to be in is superhero. I mean, straight up, Ciel wants to help save the world. Every ounce of her was built for this. Her mother preached it, her father preached it, and her uncle lived it. She spent her whole adult life doing work that she felt was, in fact, making the world a better place.

A huge part of Ciel's story revolves around the fact that she's been forced out of this box and she can't figure out how to get back into it. She has a lot of criticism for her choices after XF dissolved, from going to India in the first place to the work she did to the guy she slept with. Part of her feels like her box is now 'failure' and even 'sinner'. She hates that feeling. She runs from it. Also, 'pointless' and 'has-been'. Sometimes 'coward'.

This is why she's having more religious conflict than she has in a long time. It's the one box she knows she could actually tackle if she had the guts to. If she could really decide that she wanted to. But it's a whole mess of worms, and really, truly doing it would mean giving up some other things, and she isn't going there. Yet.

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