I know that a lot of our resources are being aimed at the Russian issue and, like, dragons invading Mutant Town and so on, but work goes on — we gotta keep ourselves in funds if we’re gonna help the helpless, etc. So here’s a list of what we’ve rustled up for this week:
(1) Kieran Iskiergaard, former Norwegian world champion figure skater and let me tell you I’ve never typed that one before, is in NYC pitching a show. There’s been a Friends of Humanity threat on his life because his twin granddaughters were outed as mutants in that big twitter bomb a couple months ago. He wants bodyguards.
(2) We’ve got another bounty from Fyodorov. Registered sex offender Dahlia Quentin. Her bail was set at $300,000 and it looks like the bondsman accidentally put it up without any collateral. Fyodorov thinks telepath or something. This is a huge embarrassment to him if she gets away. The bounty is $10k, but if we can keep it a secret that this ever happened and bring her in without anyone being the wiser, there will be a discretion bonus that Fyodorov says will be significant.
(3) Lia Xhiu Ville is an investigative journalist out here from the UK and she’s offering 500 pounds if we can get her an exclusive with either of the mutants who were cashiered from Mutant Affairs. 750 if we can get both. We’re apparently the mutant connection here in town, guys.
(4) The law firm needs us for two more courier jobs. One of them will involve a trip upstate to establish service on some rich dude in Albany.
(5) There’s a rumor that there’s a shapeshifter hiding in the Bronx Zoo. I’ve been asked to follow up on it.
(6) There’s a NYC-based toy company that would like to remain nameless for the moment, but if we can work a Christmas morning surprise at a list of local youth shelters with their merch, they’ll pay us. Adventures in mutant marketing and stealth gifting. I’m not sure this is a great idea, but the money is good, and it’s kind of hilarious, so— you know, your discretion, whoever wants to take this.
Thanks for a great holiday party, everyone. I hope everyone who celebrates it has a super awesome Christmas.